Gay Species' Awards

Gay Species, not unlike Andrew Sullivan and P. Z. Myers, awards prizes, appropriately NAMED, not defined, by a particularity.

The Phlogiston Award

For archaic, misinformed, and otherwise stupid "pseudo-science" parading as the impostor of natural science.

The Viciously Circular Award

For claims that depend on the conclusion as a premise and again as the conclusion. We call that sophistry, illogical, incomplete, invalid, unsound, and "viciously circular.

The Gertrude Stein Award

For the native of Oakland, CA and lesbian lover of Alice B., an author who once said of her hometown, "There's no there, there." If you've seen Oakland, you might understand her comment. If you've heard the claim that one is a "secular Jew," ask them if they know any "secular Christians" or "atheistic Muslims?" If so, they have nothing to add to the conversation, but are "will to power" irrational hegemons.

The Richard Nixon Award

For the former President who had the decency to resign his office for being a crook, meanwhile protesting "I am not a crook." Saying it is so does not mean it is so. A crook is a crook, and the word is, is a verb, of the present tense, "to be." We all know what it means.

The William Jefferson Clinton Award

For lying, deceitful, unfaithful, piece-of-shit men and women who boldly look into the camera and insist his cock being sucked by a female in his chain of command is not "sex" -- much less sexual harassment (with the feminist duplicitous chics in the choir singing, "yeah, baby, yeah") and "I did not have sex with that woman." Right, and you're not a lying sack of (shit-eating) deceit.

The Summa Cum Laude Award

From the Latin for "with the highest praise" award for insight, logical argument, and brilliant intelligence. Very rare.

The Matt Sanchez U.S.M.C. Award

For straight donkey dicks that hang with blond Chihuahuas, like Ann Coulter, insisting he is not a "good gay sexual partner," but D.A.D.T. does not apply, because he services Right Wing opinion makers. We believe him, which is why we understand others do the work, and he reaps the benefits. He serves his nation with honor, integrity, and boner in another guy's mouth. a.k.a., the Rod Majors' porn star of dubious merit.

The Hysterical-Homo-Hirsute-Hating Queer Award

Some men get "drama" where it's inappropriate, unmanly, and terribly queer (i.e., strange, odd, eccentric; of questionable character, suspicious -- from the Oxford-English Dictionary). Subsidiarily named the Ed Stein Queer Award of proud deviants. This award rewards those of questionable value, factual, and practical judgment.